Peace of Confusion

An arrow pierces my side, I know not from whence it came,

Even writing, for me of all people, feels dull, 

To express myself like this

 is pathetic and I am ashamed.

I watch the library lady try to put together a community puzzle that you know will never be finished. Too many pieces. She doesn’t know what she’s doing but the discovery excites her.

 And I see life as that puzzle. It looks full of possibility and hope, 

until we realize we put all the pieces in the wrong places, 

and plunged our mind into the memories of faces, unrealized aspirations.

We felt so stupid when hopes were crushed, but it just takes patience, right?

I hope that’s true and I’m not just telling myself this to feel better. Yet the older I get the more I understand none of it makes any sense.

And yet things will be more than okay, cause finding yourself is a journey and is not done in a day. 

For even though apathy creeps up on me like some twisted spiritual disease, I know that sometimes power is walking away,

from everything that I’ve told myself defines my worth.

 Good moments teach you why to survive; bad moments teach you how. 

And there is so much to smile and laugh about, even now.

At your best you can be judged as a villain.

Therefore, your lack of power feels freeing, for people will think all kinds of things anyways.

All the world’s hearts combined will never solve this puzzle.

But you can take a step back and appreciate the glimmer in your soul

that still whispers there's something beautiful about this experience.

The happy kind child who never could let hope die

Won’t wither away, I promise.

Confidence and joy is the peace that not even broken can outwit,

The beauty of being human is at our core, beyond solving puzzles and achieving meaningless accolades.

We are enough, and we don’t have to do anything to prove that. I'm happily eating my Ben and Jerry's laughing my ass off that I wasted so much time trying to understand.

 I will never, and yet I can still be at peace.